It’s February, FINALLY! I thought January would never end!
Although It’s my own fault, I’ll admit…
I spent most of the month wallowing in my own woes. Trying to decide if I should commit business suicide or try, try again. It’s hard to control your thoughts when you have too much time on your hands. Your mind never stops turning, churning, debating, and regretting. January is suppose to be a time of new beginnings; a chance to start new. All I wanted to do was lay in bed, not care about anything, and lose myself in the dramas of fictional characters. I avoided my camera like it was the plague, beat myself up over the last years choices, and wished I could sink so far down into my bed that no one would ever find me. I was having a severe case of the January lazy no motivation why do I even bothers. (I even took a trip down south hoping it would boost my mood, it didn’t. What I learned; just because your view may change doesn’t mean your point of view will.) Boo Hoo, poor me, I know. After a couple of weeks of wallowing and wanting to quit I began to think a little more logically. It wasn’t that I wanted to give up on my dream, there were just things about it I needed to reevaluate and change. I had to realize that just because something wasn’t going the way I intended for it to go it didn’t mean it was the end. So, enter the plan of action. I took time to evaluate the previous year and chalked it up to a learning experience. (Sometimes you have to try new things to find out if you like them or not.) Lessons learned. Then I made two lists 1.’Will not do again’ and 2. ‘Loved to do’. After looking over the lists I noticed the ‘Loved to do’s’ far out numbered the ‘Will not do’s'! So, why was I only dwelling on the negatives?? Typical. After seeing everything on the lists laid out in front of me, it helped me put things back into perspective. I now feel like I can finally move forward and enjoy all that 2012 has to offer. I’m looking forward to stomping out a new path and trying out some new things! (Hint: I hope you like cats, and Black and White photography.) 
Today is a new day. The sun is shining, Buckeye Chuck says spring is on it’s way, and there is a smile on my face. Things are most definitely looking up!
The funny thing about dreams is that they may need to be interpreted a few times before you get to the bottom of them. You are far too talented to give up on your dreams, whatever they may be, so hopefully last month was just a “interpretation” phase!?
I know this is an older post, but I just wanted to let you know how encouraging it is. I know how easy it can be to wallow in self-pity and depression, but it takes strength to pull yourself out of it. It brings me joy to know that you are not giving up on your dreams. You are one of the most gifted and creative people I know. You have alwys inspired me, and I can’t wait to see what comes next. Love you!