It’s funny how you get accustomed to the busyness of life. It’s like a daily rush and hurry to do or get to the next task. Then suddenly you are gifted with a day that is full of emptiness and you don’t know what to do with yourself. You catch yourself still going at hummingbird speed even though you have nowhere you need to be at any certain time. Your brain keeps churning and planning and skipping ahead to the next moment when what you really need to do is stop and enjoy the one you’re currently in. Why do we feel the need to fill every second of our lives with something? We never stop. If we have a spare moment we’re planning what we are going to do in the next, or we’re lurking behind a monitor being overly concerned at what other people are doing in that same exact moment. Busy, busy, busy. Go, go, go.
I have to say I am the most guilty. This weekend I was gifted with free time to do whatever I wanted, to come and go as I pleased; and I couldn’t turn off my brain. I’m so used to going, and planning, and rushing that I couldn’t take 48 hours of alone time to just chill. So, this morning I forced myself to shut down. I wanted to see how long I could blank out and do absolutely nothing; no TV, no books, no Internet, just silence. It lasted all of 14 seconds; pitiful I know. But, what I realized in that very short period of time is that I like my rush. Yes, it’s nice to have a day off where you just chill and do nothing all day, but I like my over imaginative, busy, never turning off brain. I love the things in my life that cause me to be busy. Those two little someones who keep me going constantly and shower me daily with love and happiness and that one certain someone who tells me I’m beautiful even when I have no makeup and I’m wearing sweatpants. They are worth every rushed second I spend, they make the rush beautiful. How can the rush not beautiful when it’s being done in love..?
One thing I did take away from my 48 hours of nothing to rush for is this; from now on for at least 14 seconds a day I’m going to turn off and just breathe….but until then…off I go.